What is one to say about all that has happened this year? I stopped listening to news on a regular basis a couple years ago. However, the tragedies continue to pierce my self imposed solitude. I read of these events (for the most part) filtered through the lens of Facebook posts or hear of them in the discussions with friends and loved ones who still watch the news.

This may be my last post for a while. I don’t know if I can take what I see in our great land, even filtered through my friends (many of whom disagree with one another – shh don’t tell them as I love them all for who they are, and do not want to lose any of them). It saddens me too much and makes it extremely difficult to refrain from getting sucked into the fray. The choice to love is difficult to maintain in a world where so much hate is displayed on such a regular basis. I don’t want to become so numb to the hate through repetition that I begin to see it as anything but what it is – pure ugliness and evil.

I’m not gay, but have gay friends. I’m not black, but have black friends. I’m not Muslim but have befriended Muslims. Recently I stopped by and spoke to the folks at the Sikh center here in Fishers (can’t call them friends yet, but I’m open to that) they are some real nice folks. One of my best friends who passed away years ago was Hindu. I’ve never served in the military, but have friends who are vets. I’ve never been a police officer, yet have friends who are or have been. Many of my friends own and shoot firearms, from AR-15’s to shotguns to semi-automatic pistols to Flintlocks, I even had a friend a number of years ago who shot a Matchlock.

So tell me which side do I take? Do I join the NRA and fight gun control? Do I instead support stricter gun control laws? Shortly after Orlando, a loved one I was speaking with brought up the topic of gun control. I try to avoid these conversations whenever possible. But the person clearly thought the US should pass additional gun control laws. I ask one question: “Why don’t they just enforce the laws already on the books?” The answer: “Oh they can’t enforce those laws!” then they moved on to smart gun technologies and thought that might be the answer. I moved on to silence until the next topic of conversation. I didn’t mention the fact that Orlando would not have been any different with such technology. It wasn’t important to our relationship. I understand their sentiments, and it’s OK with me if I’m not understood. We can agree not to agree.

What about the police? Which side do I choose on that? I cannot imagine any officer, much less any I know, who would want to be involved in a justified shooting ending in death much less one involving an unarmed citizen. Should I take the side of Black Lives Matter and protest the recent shootings of unarmed Blacks as murders? If not, (and in some cases if so) how do I maintain my friendships with my black friends? No, I don’t know personally what it is like to live as a black man in America. But I’ve spoken to those who do, they are strong and courageous men who admittedly live life with a different view of life in America, than mine and justifiably so. Additionally, the police officers I know do as well, they face challenges I cannot imagine on a daily basis. It’s a dangerous world out there and I am glad there are those willing to risk their lives to protect the rest of us.

My heart attack in February convinced me the most important part of this life here on earth is relationships! As I contemplated the possibility of that day being my last, my only thoughts were on the relationships I would no longer enjoy. Now even in the most difficult of times in life, it is only my relationships with others that hold any value.

Personally, I don’t like the word racism. Not that I think it does not exist, rather I believe there is only one race on the earth. The human race. You want to end racism? Simply acknowledge there is only one race! I don’t know about you, but all those I’ve ever conversed with come from the human race.

Bigotry on the other hand is rampant in every camp. And though I wish I could be free of it, it exists to some degree in my own heart. Bigotry – intolerance  toward those who hold different opinions from oneself. That’s the connecting tissue in all of what is really going on in this world. Bigotry is the pandemic from which we all suffer. It matters little whether you are straight or gay, Muslim/Sikh/Hindu/Christian/Jewish, Black/White/Latino/Asian, Police/veteran/politician! If you are intolerant to those who think differently form you – YOU ARE A BIGOT!!! Even the best of us, with even the slightest introspection, if we are honest with ourselves, will find this virus has infected us.

The only way I know to end bigotry is communication. Repeated communication. Deep honest communication over time. We need to open up to each other and really listen without our prejudices, without walls we’ve built to protect our own point of view. Without the rationalizations we’ve come up with to justify why we are right and others are wrong. Listen with an eye to understand and and ear to really hear the hopes and fears of others. We need leaders who can see both sides of the issue and lead us gently into understanding of each other, and reconciliation with each other.

Finally, approaching the elections we are coming to the end of the Obama presidency. Regardless of who you voted for eight years ago, history was made in electing the first black President of The United States of America. I am proud to have been living in this times to be able to see this historic event take place in our nations history. As we come to the end of this era however, I am extremely disappointed as to the conditions of polarization in our nation. I had hopes that a former community organizer would be able to ease any tensions between us. That such a man could bring us together in unity. However, from what I’ve seen and heard of the reaction(s) of this administration to the tragedies that have occurred the President has never left his former community. It would appear he does not, in any real way, have a sense of the bigger community which is the United States of America that he was elected to serve. All I see is that now eight years later we are further apart than we were eight years ago, and perhaps further apart than we’ve been in many more years than that. Unfortunately, the two presumptive nominees, no matter which you one select will only continue the trend. I believe, as a country, we have not been in such a precarious position (in the last 150 or so years) as we find ourselves currently.

“At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.” Abraham Lincoln January 27, 1838

So I ask you: Can we talk?